Hello! Once again, it is I, your ever trusty interviewer, putting herself on the line for your reading pleasure. As you can remember, I have sent interview requests all throughout Draconica and I got another reply from them. Isn’t that exciting? This time, it is from someone named Man in Shadow (MIS). As he is somewhat of a shady character, I was wary and sent off a pre-formulated set of questions akin to a Slam Book. Despite what other people say, I am not that suicidal. So here are MIS’s answers:
Well hello there mortals! Man in Shadow here, your all-time favourite misanthrope.
So recently, a few members of the Draconica series have been doing these things called “interviews” and I’ve been asked if I like to do one. Like I haven’t got enough on my plate already with plotting to destroy the world and Final Ragnarok to plan!
Well, I suppose I can take a FEW minutes out of my busy schedule to answer these questions. Let’s see how bored I become. And I should warn you, Francine, when I get bored – people tend to get hurt…
Oh well, here we go. Let’s see what we can do.
Color: Blood. What, that’s a colour isn’t it?
Food: Don’t know. I don’t eat.
Drink: I don’t drink either. Unless it’s people’s tears.
Hangout Place: Anywhere I choose.
Weekend Activity: Planning the destruction of all life as we know it. You know, a nice relaxing activity.
Song: Ah yes, the “Screams of agony of the dead and dying” are my favourite. Don’t know it? I’d be happy to play it for you. In fact – you can be the vocalist.
Role Model: Role models don’t exist – they are just there as a symbol so people think they can achieve something, which is pointless.
Smell: Charred corpses
Sight: Dead bodies. Ah, nothing like a little family friendly entertainment is there?
When I’m happy I: Murder someone.
When I’m sad I: Murder someone sadly.
When I’m sad and pretending not to be, I: Murder someone pretending to be sad. Actually, who am I kidding. I’m NEVER sad! In fact, I never feel any emotions at all…
My worst habit is: Occasionally I show mercy to someone.
The best thing about me is: I know things that others don’t. It’s frightening sometimes. Hehehe.
I feel most beautiful when: Beauty? Pah! Beauty is simply a word. I’d rather take someone beautiful and disfigure them for life. Now THAT, would be beautiful! Wait, what do you mean that I can’t say things like that? This is MY interview and I’ll say whatever I damn well please!
(coughs and splutters, then opens his tubes to let out his black void gas).
Sorry about that, let’s carry on.
I feel most powerful when: I’m ALWAYS powerful!
I felt so proud when I overcome my fear of: Fear? You know nothing about fear.
Three things that I just can’t stand: People – being – happy.
LIGHTNING ROUND! [Answer this as fast as you can; write the first thing that comes into your head]
I love my: Massive brain
I hate my: Everything. I hate everything that has ever existed.
I am: A god…
I wish I were: Dead.
Someday I will: Destroy everything as you know it. Very soon…
Music is: Screams.
Love is: An illusion
Happiness is: A fantasy
My best friend is: I don’t need friends.
My crush is: Whoever happens to be in my hands at the time. Gettit? Huh? Huh?
My first love is: Death
My first kiss is: Do I LOOK like the kind of person that kisses?
My first lover is: I had a lover once believe it or not. She can go to hell!
Message: Well that was the quiz… in actual fact I think I really enjoyed it! Francine, I was about to violate you in every way possible and then rip you to shreds – but I did actually have fun so I’ll spare you… this time.
But check under your bed before you go to sleep tonight. Just in case…
Well, that was awkward. This paper reminds me a lot of someone I know. Someone who was twisted, misguided and unbelievably interesting. Then again, can I just settle for this? A mere piece of paper? This character is definitely intriguing, therefore, I can not, will not, shall not settle for this faceless, impersonal paper. I need to find out more!
As such, I decided to ask him to pay our interview room a visit. I got no reply though so I don’t–
*A strange hissing sound was heard throughout the room and, out of the darkest corner of the room, a dark figure slowly materialized*
Oh! It is! Hello, Man in Shadow! I have received your Slam Book answers and you have intrigued me greatly.
I have prepared several questions for you to answer in person. This was prepared several
weeks days ago.
Okay. So let us start with the first question: What is your real name?
Oh, I can’t tell you that. If I did… I’d have to kill you. Well, I’d probably torture you first, then tickle you, then… well, let’s just say I’m not the most “romantic” when it comes to women. *Hehehehe”.
Oh, um… Please don’t tickle me. I can’t handle being tickled because I don’t have a lot of ticklish areas in my body. Can we see your face behind the mask? Or if not, can you describe to us how you look like?
If I didn’t tell you my real name, what makes you think I’d let you see my face? Besides. I don’t think you WANT to see my real face. If you knew who I was, it would drive you insane. *hehehehehehe* Why, it drives ME mad just thinking about it! Hahahahaha!
From that statement alone, I have gathered that you’re both mad,
like me, and narcissistic. Do you kill kittens and puppies? What about penguins?
Mmmmm, I don’t really like to talk about that. I prefer a practical demonstration. Maybe I should use that little grimalkin Wispy as an example…
WISPY: No! Don’t let him get me!
(whines and runs to hide behind Francine)
Oh, you poor little kitty! *hovers protectively over Wispy* I only asked, Man in Shadow! Besides, what’s with the black smoke that you constantly let out from your crazy mask? Is that like a lung disease or something?
Oh that? It’s just a little something I picked up when I was stuck in the void. It’s a side effect of being stuck there so long *koff, koff* Excuse me.
(He undoes his tubes to let some smoke out)
And no, it’s nothing to do with my lungs. I don’t have lungs anymore. It’s surprising how little you need to rely on them when you’re me.
Mmmmmm, you look like you have a nice pair of lungs on you. How would you feel if I… removed them for you? *Hehehehehehehe* I never told you I was a charmer with women, did I?
Hah! My lungs are MY property and you can NEVER get them from me. These lungs have been tailor-made for me and not for you and your black-ish smoke. *cough* That aside, what EXACTLY is the Final Ragnarok?
Seriously? You have to ask? Surely the clue is in the name?
Well, you’ll find out soon enough. Everyone will. And everything you love will burn… everything.
You are pretty much describing life in this modern world, as it is. People losing themselves to monetary gain and discarding those that care for them. Before I get carried away by my sentiments, answer me this simple question: Why do you not eat?
Mainly because I don’t have a mouth – or a stomach – or the means to digest food – or even a body. Or maybe I just choose not to eat.
What a sad, sad existence for you. I, personally, cannot imagine life without chocolate or ice cream or pasta or cakes or–
*clears throat* Anyway, who made your mysterious costume?
I got a better question – who gave you that stupid haircut? Hahahahahahahaha!
But seriously, costume? You think I wear this for fun? I wear this because it keeps the power I possess in check. Without it, I’d probably be thrown across the Universe – or I would obliterate everyone nearby me. But in answer to your question – my boys in The Kabal did. They did it as a favour to me. I think this costume is pretty nice. Don’t you?
Er… I think it’s pretty stifling. I would not wear it willingly.Why did you allow the writer, Dan Wright, to document Final Ragnarok? Are you going to kill him after the book’s completion?
Kill him? How unimaginative. No, I like Dan. He’s almost as sick and twisted as me. Did you see how he poisoned Finn at the beginning of the third book? And the way he tortured Kalak? All beautiful. I hope he kills those two off! Now, if I could only get him to kill that annoying cat, Wispy…
WISPY: (Meows in fear and cowers).
Stay away from Wispy, Man in Shadow, and turn your attention to this next question: Who do you hate the most?
Hate? I don’t hate anyone. All I want to do is show everyone how pointless their existence is. And sadly, death is the only way to do it. What I do isn’t out of hate – it’s out of necessity. And because I JUST LOVE causing chaos! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Last question: How evil are you?
Oh, you’ll find out soon enough… when Final Ragnarok begins.
Well, I must say this was an enjoyable experience, I thoughroughly enjoyed talking to you, Francine. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I might even take a little gift back home with me. Say, maybe…
YOUR LUNGS AND YOUR HEART!!!
Only joking… just your lungs will do fine!
What a funny, funny being. Seriously, MIS, let me tell you something, only a few people know…
You’re not the only crazy person around here.
“Really? Then you and I will get along JUST fine!”
Books by Dan Wright:
Draconica #1: Trapped on Draconica
Draconica #2: Legacy of the Dragonkin
Draconica #3: Final Ragnarok coming this July 2014
To join Final Ragnarok Book Tour, please click here.
Pictures used in this post is of Touko Fukawa from Dangan Ronpa: The Animation. I do not own them.
All Draconica pictures have been provided by Dan Wright.