Hello, everyone! This is your ever adorable interviewer who has once again, placed her life on the line for your reading pleasure.
It is with great joy that I present my guest today as this will be the first time I am going to have a character to interview from the USA Bestselling Author, Marie Hall. Please welcome the evil, villainous, and deceptive imp, Rumpelstiltskin.
Hello, Rumpel! Welcome to my homey interview corner. I am Tsukime.
Please, do tell our dear readers something about yourself.
RUMPEL: TELL ME YOUR DARKEST DESIRES AND I CAN MAKE THEM COME TRUE, WITH JUST ONE SWIPE OF MY PEN… (SMIRKS EVILLY)
Oh!!! I have a lot of dark desires! *squee* Anyway, as a broker, you have been to places, right? What was your favorite place to visit?
RUMPEL: ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION? YOU KNOW I NEVER GIVE ANYTHING AWAY WITHOUT DEMANDING MY DUE…
MARIE HALL: I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY. DARN YOU, RUMPEL! YOU’D BETTER START ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS AND STOP BEING SUCH A DUDE OR I’LL SIC SHAYERA ON YOU! *STERN GROWL*
RUMPEL: *SWEEPING EYE ROLL* FINE, FINE. I LIKED SHAYERA’S JEWELS—
MARIE: RUMPEL!!!! PG-13 RATED PLEASE, LET’S KEEP IT PG-13, IN FACT, LET’S KEEP IT EVEN CLEANER. A PLACE, RUMPEL, A PLACE. NOT ‘THE’ PLACE. JEEZ…
RUMPEL: THEN THIS IS RATHER POINTLESS, FINE YOU WANT A PLACE. MISSOURI. SATISFIED?
MARIE HALL: SIGH. I GUESS SO…
*valiantly tries to hold back laughter at the exchange* Okay~ Missouri. Wonderful! What was the funniest deal you had ever brokered?
RUMPEL: WELL THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK MONKEY. THE APE WANTED A PILE OF BANANAS, YES, THAT ONE WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING.
Speaking of animals, do you like penguins?
RUMPEL: DO I LIKE PENGUINS? *GLOWERS* YOU KNOW YOU HAVE AN AWFULLY PRETTY HEAD, I’D HATE FOR SOMETHING DASTARDLY TO HAPPEN TO IT BECAUSE OF THESE ASININE QUESTIONS BEING ASKED OF ME…
MARIE HALL: RUMPEL…*GNASHES TEETH*
My questions aren’t asinine! *takes several deep calming breaths for composure* About your trusty conveyance, is it alive?
RUMPEL: SIGH…WHAT DO YOU THINK? WOULD I RIDE ANYTHING LESS?
Of course not! I totally agree with you on that. *coughs* What was the best thing that ever happened to you?
RUMPEL: THIS IDIOCY IS MAKING MY HEAD POUND.
MARIE HALL: FREAKIN’ A, IMP. JUST ANSWER THE BLOODY QUESTIONS! HOW HARD IS IT TO GIVE AN ANSWER.
RUMPEL: THE DAY I MET SHAYERA. *MUMBLES UNDER BREATH*
Oh… That’s so sweet. And I must say you and Shayera make a beautiful couple. Do you like being a broker? What are your favorite perks in this job?
RUMPEL: YES, I LIKE BEING A BROKER, MY FAVORITE PART IS WHEN I GET TO TURN THE COACH BACK INTO A PUMPKIN AND LAUGH AS YOU CRY AND WHIMPER IN A CORNER THAT ALL YOUR DREAMS HAVE BEEN JUST THAT. A DREAM!
Oh wow! You’re mean and evil! I like that. Anyway… *cough cough* Is Giles taken or available? *cough cough*
RUMPEL: BLOODY HELL, HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I DO NOT KEEP TRACK OF THE LOVE LIVES OF THOSE I EMPLOY!
Okay, okay! Calm down! That was just a shot at the dark. I find him handsome and intriguing. He kinda reminds me of Sebastian Michaelis from the Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) manga/anime series.
Speaking of beauty, on a scale of 1 to Shayera, how beautiful am I?
RUMPEL: HOW BEAUTIFUL DO YOU WANT TO BE? *LECHEROUS GRIN* FOR I AM SURE WE COULD MAKE A DEAL, HOWEVER, NO ONE IS AS LOVELY AS MY WILD ROSE. NO ONE.
I asked the level of my beauty, not that I wish to change it. I happen to like the way I look, thank you very much. How does it feel to have Gerard Caron in your mercy?
RUMPEL: IT THRILS MY DARK, BLACK HEART.
How many lives have you deprived of life?
RUMPEL: NOT ENOUGH.
Do you enjoy making people suffer?
RUMPEL: IS THIS A HYPOTHETICAL?
Actually, it isn’t but since you mentioned it, you do have a point. Can you turn me into a penguin?
RUMPEL: FOR A PRICE, I CAN TURN YOU INTO ANYTHING…
:3 Ohhh! That sounds like fun~ What do you like to eat?
RUMPEL: LIVERS AND HEARTS.
MARIE HALL: SHAYERA! YOUR HUSBAND IS ACTING LIKE A JERK, STRAIGHTEN HIM OUT, PLEASE!!!
SHAYERA: RUMPEL! FOR SHAME, LOOK AT THIS MESS OF AN INTERVIEW. SIGH… I SUPPOSE I’LL BE ANSWERING THE FINAL FEW QUESTIONS SINCE MY DEAR HUSBAND REFUSES TO PLAY THE GAME. LET IT BE KNOWN ON RECORD THE IMP ISN’T HALF AS SCARY AS HE LIKES TO PRETEND TO BE.
RUMPEL: NEVER TO YOU MY LOVE, NEVER TO YOU.
SHAYERA: *GRINS* RUMPEL AND I ARE RATHER FOND OF SOUPS AND STEWS
Oh! I think they’re delicious too, Shayera! Do you two have anything to say to your amazing author, Marie Hall?
RUMPEL: YES, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, EXPECT A VISIT FROM ME SOON YOU DEVLISH WOMAN.
SHAYERA: HE’S ALWAYS JOKING, *SHE GRINS AND PATS HIS ARM AFFECTIONATELY* HE AND I BOTH WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU AND WE LOVE YOU MARIE FOR TELLING OUR ‘TRUE’ STORY AND NOT THE ONES THOSE VILE FAIRIES SPIN THAT HAVE NO BASIS IN REALITY WHATSOEVER.
Sometimes, faeries have their own agenda. Do you have any teasers you would like to share with us about your story, Rumpel’s Prize?
SHAYERA: HONEY, OF COURSE WE DO. HOW ABOUT OUR FIRST KISS, THAT WAS HOT, RIGHT?
RUMPEL: WELL. *HE LEANS OVER AND STEALS ONE FROM HER WHILE SHE’S NOT LOOKING*
Aw… How I wish someone would— *coughs* Nevermind. It has come to the internet’s attention that you seem to be amassing more fans than the Mad Hatter. What are your thoughts on this?
RUMPEL: OF COURSE I WOULD. I’M BY FAR THE MORE INTERESTING OF THE TWO. HATTER IS SIMPLY TOO MAD TO BE AROUND FOR LONG, WHEREAS I HAVE BOTH LOOKS AND BRAINS. ONLY NATURAL.
SHAYERA: THIS IS TRUE, DEAR. VERY TRUE.
Is there any message you would like to impart to your aforementioned fans?
SHAYERA: READ THE BOOK, I THINK YOU WILL LOVE IT AND YOU’LL SEE MY HUSBAND ISN’T NEARLY THE TYRANT HE TRIES TO PRETEND HE IS.
RUMPEL: ONLY FOR YOU, MY WILD ROSE, ONLY FOR YOU…
Aren’t those two just the sweetest couple?
Marie loves books that make you think, or feel something. Preferably both. And while she’s a total girly girl and loves glitter and rainbows, she’s just as happy when she’s writing about the dark underbelly of society. Well, if things like zombies, and vampires, and werewolves, and mermaids existed. (Although she has it on good authority that mermaids do in fact exist, because the internet told her so.)
She’s married to the love of her life, a sexy beast of a caveman who likes to refer to himself as Big Hunk. She has two awesome kids, lives in Hawaii, loves cooking and occasionally has been known to crochet.
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